Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The happy life of teacher librarians: OMG, MISS, DISNEY BOUGHT MARVEL!

This morning began with tragedy, "Miss, Marvel Comics has been BOUGHT BY DISNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
They are appalled by these prospects:
  • Wolverine is not going to be drinking whiskey and smoking a cigar - he's going to have a candy cane and a glass of Mountainy Dew.  And he'll get his claws manicured or turned into backscratchers so he can be a helpful mutant!
  • Hulk isn't going to be mad any more, he's going to be disgruntled and talk it through with his friends!
  • Mickey Mouse is going to turn up in all the wrong places, and say in his squeaky voice, "Hello boys, need a hand?
  • Deadpool won't be allowed to tell his [rather blue, I gather] jokes any more!  They'll replace his samurai swords and machine guns with a feathersword and bubble blowers!
  • The Punisher isn't going to be The Punisher any more, he's going to be The Helper-Outer!
  • They'll make Spiderman marry Aunt May to keep her safe (how has she not died, she's been in peril so many times????)
  • Iron Man's not an alcoholic any more, he just likes a LOT of pink lemonade!
  • Ghost Rider is the devil's bounty hunter - well, he's unlikely to survive in the new regime!
  • Blade is a vampire who can walk around in the day and kills other vampires - well, he's gone!
  • The revealing costumes are gone!
  • Thing from the Fantastic Four won't have clobbering time any more, it will be talking time!
  • The Silver Surfer won't be a naked guy on a surfboard, he'll probably feature in the next Lilo and Stitch film (wearing boardies - just a buff dude with a magical surfboard)!  And he'll probably turn up in the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie!
  • All Electra used to do is killing, eating and sleeping - she'll just be eating and sleeping now!
  • X-Men - it could go either way...
  • Captain America should be OK...
Once again, my teacher training at teachers' college and university has not prepared me for managing a crisis of this magnitude (or type).  We will do our best to work through this blow....the office-ful of students I had bemoaning this appalling prospect (and howling anew when I enquired whether this was worse than the news of Chewbacca's demise - it's the same crew of kids) was, I am of course ashamed to admit, very funny to listen to...
The happy life of teacher librarians!
PS They also liked it being blogged (I typed as they told me, to be sure not to miss the moment) and checked this for correctness...!!  So if you can leave a comment on their creativity, they would be very pleased! (and it might assuage their grief...)
what is the world coming to?  my incredibly serious teacher librarianship blog hijacked by comic-obsessed fan boys!!!


Fiona said...

Maybe you should have a weekly feature post written by students???

The King's Library said...

I love your posts Ruth, seems your students and mine are very similar! Boys in my office had to come over and find out what I was reading and said Yes,Yes Yes! I just gave you a pulg on the NZ school library listserv. Bridget in Dunedin NZ

Ruth Buchanan said...

Thank you both!