The happy life of teacher librarians: OMG, MISS, DISNEY BOUGHT MARVEL!

This morning began with tragedy, "Miss, Marvel Comics has been BOUGHT BY DISNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
.
They are appalled by these prospects:

• Wolverine is not going to be drinking whiskey and smoking a cigar - he's going to have a candy cane and a glass of Mountainy Dew.  And he'll get his claws manicured or turned into backscratchers so he can be a helpful mutant!
• Hulk isn't going to be mad any more, he's going to be disgruntled and talk it through with his friends!
• Mickey Mouse is going to turn up in all the wrong places, and say in his squeaky voice, "Hello boys, need a hand?
• Deadpool won't be allowed to tell his [rather blue, I gather] jokes any more!  They'll replace his samurai swords and machine guns with a feathersword and bubble blowers!
• The Punisher isn't going to be The Punisher any more, he's going to be The Helper-Outer!
• They'll make Spiderman marry Aunt May to keep her safe (how has she not died, she's been in peril so many times????)
• Iron Man's not an alcoholic any more, he just likes a LOT of pink lemonade!
• Ghost Rider is the devil's bounty hunter - well, he's unlikely to survive in the new regime!
• Blade is a vampire who can walk around in the day and kills other vampires - well, he's gone!
• The revealing costumes are gone!
• Thing from the Fantastic Four won't have clobbering time any more, it will be talking time!
• The Silver Surfer won't be a naked guy on a surfboard, he'll probably feature in the next Lilo and Stitch film (wearing boardies - just a buff dude with a magical surfboard)!  And he'll probably turn up in the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie!
• All Electra used to do is killing, eating and sleeping - she'll just be eating and sleeping now!
• X-Men - it could go either way...
• Captain America should be OK...

.
Once again, my teacher training at teachers' college and university has not prepared me for managing a crisis of this magnitude (or type).  We will do our best to work through this blow....the office-ful of students I had bemoaning this appalling prospect (and howling anew when I enquired whether this was worse than the news of Chewbacca's demise - it's the same crew of kids) was, I am of course ashamed to admit, very funny to listen to...
.
The happy life of teacher librarians!
.
Cheers
.
Ruth
.
PS They also liked it being blogged (I typed as they told me, to be sure not to miss the moment) and checked this for correctness...!!  So if you can leave a comment on their creativity, they would be very pleased! (and it might assuage their grief...)
.
what is the world coming to?  my incredibly serious teacher librarianship blog hijacked by comic-obsessed fan boys!!!